Being me the only way I know how

Me on the beach

2006-09-18T19:39:00.000-04:00

Me on the beach
Originally uploaded by Sarah MU.

Hawaii pictures have been uploaded to flickr. Yes I know like a month later...

Beautiful

2006-09-04T12:51:00.000-04:00

Light reflecting off water

Brad Pitt

Wawa hoagies

The view of Boston from the Longfellow Bridge

My brown dress

Hawaii

See I am not dead...

2006-08-29T14:11:00.000-04:00

Left Hawaii on Saturday to arrive to a 60 degree, cold, rainy Boston. Why? That is the question I keep asking myself.

Naturally since it was Kelly and me vacationing together I have lots of stories. But alas no time to tell them right now. I am preparing to move tomorrow (UGH). So packing has been my spare time activity. Which isn't easy for a pack-rat (Hi my name is Sarah, and I just cannot throw anything away). But I promise I am doing very good (I swear, Marita, I am throwing away LOTS of stuff, you would be proud). For example, the penis that grows in water (Bachorlette party item, I swear). Though I did have to have an internal 15 minute debate bofore I came to the conclusion that no there would probaby be very few situations where a fake water-growing penis would be needed (It had to be internal, after I vocally debated, to my sister and Alaina, throwing out graduation thank you cards- see I have these thank you cards that came with the inviations I bought for my Mom and sister's graduation party. But I forgot to actually give the cards to them to use. And they are specifically graduation-y so its not like I can use them for something else. And I don't know anybody who is graduating in the near future, so they are basically useless. So I finally threw them away, well just the cards not the enevlopes- they can still be used. But it took much convincing from my sister and Alaina before I could do it. See I obvioulsy still feel like I shouldn't have thrown them away since I just said I was too busy to tell you all about Hawaii but I have gone on about the stupid thank you cards for a LARGE paragraph now.)

Also, I overslept by an hour today (I am such a great employee. I wasn't here all last week, I am taking tomorrow off to move and the top it all off, I came in at 10 today--- where is my award?). Boy oh boy.

And last night in the mist of my packing I forgot Prison Break was on and only caught the last half hour. Which really sucked since I missed the season opener last week. So I am very confused, anybody out there who watched and can clue me in?

I will post later with pictures and stories from Hawaii and hopefully I won't be posting any stories or pictures about moving. Please let this go smoothly.

And the heavens opened up and God smiled upon me

2006-08-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

I HAVE SIGNED A LEASE. That is right apartment search is officially over, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programs.

Alaina and I will be moving the last week of August/the beginning of September (exact dates are still TBD). So if anybody wants to help, there will be rewards.... (I used ... because I don't quite know what those rewards will be, ooh unless you are a hot guy, then I know ;) (look winky face...) (look use of way to may parentheses).

All my fretting of last week is gone. I think I start to stress about one thing (like looking for an apartment) and just cannot stop. It is like a I addicated to stressing out. One thing cannot be wrong, I must assign other things in my life (that aren't that big of a deal) to also be wrong and worthy of stress. Um, I wonder if I should address this...eh too much work.

So lets recap:
1. I have an apartment!!!!
2. I am nuts.
3. But pretty (um that wasn't part of my post, but it makes me feel better).
4. If you don't know me or my friends we say the pretty thing all the time. I am not stuck up.
5. This has turned into not a recap, but a list with new items.
6. This isn't funny is it.
7. I am done.

Tuesday

2006-08-08T10:57:00.000-04:00

It is sad when the highlight of your day is realizing you have cough drops in you desk drawer.

Two weeks

2006-08-07T16:21:00.000-04:00

Much is written about the blogsphere, regarding the "now-ness" of it all. An event occurs and within minutes people worldwide are writing, posting, and discussing it. Bush says shit and its everywhere.

Well I don't like to roll that way. I want to go back to the times of the Pony Express where news was weeks old. Just because I blog doesn't mean I have to blog in the present. I say no to "now-ness" and yes to taking my time, savoring the moment, refusing to be caught up…. Okay fine, I admit I am just lazy and haven't gotten around to writing about Elizabeth and Dave's wedding. But I want to so I felt some need to explain why I am writing about something that occurred two weeks ago.

Mr. and Mrs. Comeau
Originally uploaded by Sarah MU.

It was beautiful. They got married in Bar Harbor, Maine, in the rain (rhyming somewhat intentional). Elizabeth looked amazing (just look at the flickr photos). Dave was very handsome (you better watch out Elizabeth, married men love me). And I had a great time.

Jen and I drove up on Friday so we could partake in a little Bachorlette party action, which was filled with PENISES. Yes it must be capitalized. We all got penis tattoos. Jen's was on her boob and keep poking out of her dress at the wedding. Classy. Ate some penis cake. Drank out of penis straws. Hit the penis piñata. Overall, had a very cocky time.

The next day, Jen and I had a great breakfast in Bar Harbor (I got a tofu scramble, which I had been wanting to try for some time, it was delicious. Jen got pancakes, that I made the mistake of tasting after I was already full from my meal. So yeah I then had to continue to eat her pancakes until I wanted to barf). We walked around a very foggy Bar Harbor/Arcadia National Park. But hey, the fog gave it atmosphere (just look at the BOAT picture on flickr). I love boats.

Anyway, Elizabeth I am very glad I could be there to watch you get married. And you have the nicest friends/family. Congratulations!

Reason #3423 why the internet rocks

2006-08-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

http://www.littlepeoplemeet.com/

Confession

2006-08-04T15:21:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday I had a sip of Coca-Cola. I know...high fructose corn syrup. But it was hot. Not just normal hot, it was mother-fucking hot. And I was apartment searching, then a friend offered me a sweet sweet sip of coke. And I folded like a t-shirt at the Gap.

But prior to the INCIDENT and since, I have stayed strong. Acutally it hasn't been hard so far at all to give up high fructose corn syrup.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON AT WORK

2006-08-04T15:15:00.000-04:00

These jokes made me laugh. If you read them they will make you laugh too. Unless you are a terrorist. Then you can't laugh.

Update

2006-08-01T13:13:00.000-04:00

Feeling better today.

Though I did wake up last night for about an hour after dreaming about apartment searching. I was all tight in the shoulder area when I woke up. Stress always settles there. Right now that is the only reason I wish I had a boyfriend, I need a good shoulder rub.

Yesterday, Alaina and I met with the creepiest, weirdest, "get the hell away from him" realator. I was actually glad we didn't like any of the places we saw simply so we wouldn't have to continue to deal with the guy. We are convinced there was something seriously wrong with him.

Today we are meeting with Arkward. That is our nickname for a guy who took us out on Saturday to show us some places. Poor kid is super nice but definatly new at the whole realator thing. Keep your fingers crossed.

Panic

2006-07-31T09:49:00.000-04:00

Suddenly I feel panicked. Complete and total panic. Got to work fine, sat at my desk and I don't know…just felt panic.

Maybe it is the apartment search. Alaina and I are looking with not too much success. We thought we found a place last Thursday, it was everything we wanted. Except about $100 more than we wanted to pay. Our realtor said the owners would take $50 off the price if we moved in August 15th. We agreed. Well the owners didn't. So for about 24 hours I felt relief. Now that is over. Back to panic.

Maybe it is my personal life, or better yet the decisions and situations I get myself into (As my sister reminded me "but remember that you do not have a fucked up personal life. Just a few fucked up personal situations). My sister's other offering: "And hey...if it really starts to bug you, you can always just go gay...though I think girls are fucking nutters... so... oh hey!!! I got it. Become a nun... I hear you don't have to wear the ugly habbits anymore...but in reality you would just start sleeping with priests and that is a whole new can of worms... plus I think you have to be Catholic to be a nun... I will find a solution...just probably none of the above!"

Maybe I just need to go on vacation. (20 more days, 20 more days, 20 more days…).

Maybe this feeling is a symptom of withdrawal from high fructose corn syrup.

Maybe it is none of the above.

Maybe it is all of the above.

Challenge

2006-07-25T12:14:00.000-04:00

I am going to give up high fructose corn syrup. Or at least I am going to try.

There has been a lot in the news regarding high fructose corn syrup with links to obesity, heart disease, etc. So I figure, what the hell. At least I will become more aware of what is in the food I am eating. High fructose corn syrup just isn't natural.

For those who don't know a lot about high fructose corn syrup, Accidental Hedionist is a pretty good food blog and the author covers the topic pretty well. Listed there is an extensive list of foods that contain high fructose corn syrup.

Though the one flaw in my plan is ketchup. Heinz Ketchup has high fructose corn syrup in it. And I am a gal who loves ketchup. A LOT. I wonder if they make it organic? Or would that make me too weird?

The Hoff

2006-07-20T16:22:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykSzwYQV6PU

BEST PRESENT EVER!!!

2006-07-18T21:48:00.000-04:00

My wife seriously rocks. I arrived home today to the best piece of mail ever.

A little background: Kelly and I are seriously competitive when it comes to ping pong, uh I mean table tennis (I am nothing, if not a person who wants to avoid law suits). We started playing together in high school when we choose table tennis as our gym elective (yeah that basically rocked). Technically, we were supposed to play against everybody in our class, but since the two of us acted like morans and really got into to it with each other, our teacher didn't make us join the rest of the class. And did I mention that Kelly has a ping pong table at her parent's house. And that we might still play each other. And that we might have rituals around playing. And that a bar in PA has a ping pong table and we played there in front of everybody and were still ultra-competitive.

Uh yeah. This shirt is awesome. Thanks Kelly!

Behold the total woman

2006-07-18T20:40:00.000-04:00

Here are my purchases from Sunday.

Yes I went to H&M and bought a cute white shirt. It is also correct that I went to Victoria's Secret and got some underwear. And yes, that is stain and sand paper from Sears, to stain some chairs. And who doesn't need milk and wine?

Total woman, right here.

Who else is turned on just a little bit?

2006-07-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

Okay I know this is already ALL OVER THE INTERNET and I have seen it linked to in countless blogs. But it is funny and even if only one person who hasn't seen it gets to see it than my job is done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKu_QA8Bn9o

The things I put in my mouth

2006-07-12T09:24:00.000-04:00

I just pulled my shoes out of my bag when my phone rang. So I put them on my desk. When I lifted them up to put them on I saw a Now and Later underneath them. I didn't really know where the Now and Later came from, maybe my bag... Now I am not 100% sure of that. But I ate it anyway.

Update: Tiffany (co-worker) just came over to tell my that her daughter wanted her to give me a Now and Later. Mystery solved.

Seeing love

2006-07-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

My father had open heart surgery. I have never seen my mother so scared. Fear was a new emotion for me to see on her. I have seen her happy, I have seen her angry, tired, sad, frustrated, triumphant but never afraid. Not like this. The night before his surgery she wouldn't leave. She spent the night in a cramped, hard chair. It wasn't the first night she spent there or the last. We couldn't beg her to come home, even for a nap.

My mom is a nurse. This fact probably saved my father's life. Her knowledge and connections at the hospital helped make the decision to have the cardio cath test to look at his arteries. Last Monday, we all hoped that while they were doing this test, they would fix what was wrong. They were too clogged though. If my parents had chosen the other test offered, a stress test, there was a good chance my father would have had a heart attack. She knew this and they picked the more invasive test.

Wednesday morning, at 8 a.m. they took my father. My sister and I kissed him but my mom still wouldn't leave him. She followed him to pre-op and only left when they made her. We spent that morning playing rummy, drinking cup after cup of coffee, trying to keep ourselves occupied. The doctor had said that the surgery would be over between 12 and 1 pm. A little before 12 my mom got quiet. We tried to reassure her the number of reasons why we hadn't heard anything yet. All she could do is whisper she knew too much. That was the only time I saw her cry. Finally a half hour later a nurse came out with an update. They were still working, but the hardest part was over and he was doing great.

Right after the surgery we got to see him. My dad was in pain and groggy. But doing good. He told his nurse that my mom was his primary care provider and then made a dirty joke about loving nurses PO (apparently PO is a medical abbreviation for "by mouth", um ew). Then my father asked me how my mother did. Here was my father, who only an hour before had another man's hands in his chest. He was in pain and kept drifting off as we spoke with him, but he asked me how my mom was doing. No amount of drugs could obscure the fact he was worried about her.

My father came home today. He needs to take short walks four times a day. I just saw my mother and father strolling hand in hand, walking around the house.

I am not ready

2006-06-26T11:57:00.000-04:00

I called my mom yesterday morning, I needed an address. Her first words to me were "I was going to call you later…" Weird way to start a conversation.

"Your father's in the hospital"

Immediate tears.

She explained everything. The first time I couldn't follow it. After she got through the story, I had to ask her to repeat it, I wasn't listening. She repeated it again. My father was walking up a hill and experienced shortness of breath. My mom made him go to his doctor. His doctor told him to go to the emergency room. They went. It wasn't a heart attack, that is the good news. They are not sure what caused the shortness of breath. When I spoke with my father later, he explained that his doctor said, "Shortness of breath is your body's way of telling you something is wrong." They needed to do more tests. For the time being he is fine and since this happened over a weekend, no tests would be performed until today. He is scheduled for a cardio cath test to see if his arteries in his heart have blockage. If it is mild, they can fix it during the procedure.

It might not even be his heart, my mom said over and over again. Though I know that is what she thinks it is. My father is pretty sedentary, he has high cholesterol and doesn't eat that well.

"Your parents are just getting old."

My mom is trying to make me feel better. On my birthday my dad always remarks how old I am getting. I always counter with, "me old, how old must you be to have a 24 year old."

I am not ready. I am not ready for old parents. I am not ready for what might come next.

I know my dad will probably be fine. "Wake up call", my mother called it. "Time for both of us to start eating a low-fat diet."

This is the first time either of my parents have been in the hospital. First time really.

I am not ready. I still need my parents. I need them a lot. I know on paper I am a grown up: 24, living in a different city, full-time professional job with growth opportunities, pay my own taxes, have my own insurance, I grocery shop for fruits and vegetables, and I take expensive vacations with friends.

But I need my parents. I need them to take care of me. I still need them to make Christmas special and to tell me how to make my mom's three bean salad.

I am not ready...

Internet find

2006-06-21T15:39:00.000-04:00

This is cool if you are like me and try to send emails with attachments, but by the time you finish typing your message, forget to actually ATTACH the damn file.

I know I am not the only one.

I want a wife

2006-06-13T16:55:00.000-04:00

And no I am not coming out.

Yesterday I came home from a long, hard day of work (well it was long, hard is debatable) and what did I find? MY LAUNDRY- CLEAN AND FOLDED.
Let me start from the beginning, Alaina (the new roommate, the old best friend) is currently jobless. She is looking, looking hard, (without tons of luck, so if you know of anything in the Boston-area, let me know), but job searching only takes up so much of her day. Anyway, Sunday night I was commenting that I never got to my laundry this weekend, so Alaina offered to do it yesterday while she was doing hers.

Coming home to clean, folded clothes is the best thing ever. Getting dressed this morning went so smoothly. And did I mention I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, clean clothes were just there. Which gets me to my title, I want a wife. If this is what a wife does, sign me up. I would be more than happy to bring home the fake-bacon, if I had magically appearing clean clothes (this is the man in me coming out).

Also, did I mention Alaina also ran some errands and picked up a few things I needed. That's right, I got errands done without doing jack shit. And, and, and, I forgot to mail some things, all I had to do was give the little lady a call and she took care of that.

I wish I made more money so Alaina could be my permanent wife.

Wedding Fever

2006-06-06T16:40:00.000-04:00

I need sleep…oh so much sleep.

So my roommate got married on Saturday, yeah you know the bitchy one who corrected my grammar. I had the BEST TIME EVER at the wedding. I drove up last Wednesday with the Bride and Groom and was put promptly to work. The wedding was held at Marita's summer camp she went to growing up and she was very DIY about the whole thing…so thus lots of work. I raked leaves to clean up the outside church (which we never used because of all the rain, but hey whatever…I think raking all the wet leaves totally helped me get over my fear of stepping on dead hands that are under wet leaves- and yes I think my fear was totally rational). I made center pieces, hung signs, stripped flowers, decorated tents…and had such a great time.

Yeah this post is going to suck because of my tiredness, but I don’t care.

After working hard all day, there was beer. Lots of beer. I know, you are all shocked that Sarah would participate in the consuming of beer. Then there was staying up till at least 4 am (or I should say my best estimate about how late I stayed up). And then the waking up at 8 to start the day. And then there were sentences that I am pretty sure aren't grammatically correct --- but who cares, the now ex-roommate a.k.a. the editor, is in Greece, honeymooning, with the comfort of knowing she is not living in sin.

Boyah!

Both Brad and Marita have the nicest friends… the whole long weekend was a blast. Plus it was a much needed break from work.

I will post some pics of the wedding on flickr when I get home.

Got home Sunday afternoon and spent some very important quality time with the couch (yeah the one that will be leaving with the now married ex-roommate...hmmm must buy couch so Sarah has a place to lay when hungover).

Last night went out...stayed up oh so late....after crazy weekend, probably not the best idea to get little sleep. Oh well, I had fun and we all know that is what is important. Who needs to function for work.

Oh and I guess I won some type of award for the weekend….try to guess what that might be.

Lingering breakups…

2006-05-30T14:32:00.000-04:00

I was just browsing on Amazon (they have Kitchen Aide Mixers on sale!- hey a girl can dream can’t she) and I went to my “gold box” thingy. You know the little icon on the top of the page with deals that are really only like a dollar off their normal price. Anyway, the items they offer you are kind of based off the things you have ordered in the past. Well, they still offer me Saturday Night Live DVDs’ and video game crap. DOES AMAZON NOT KNOW THAT RELATIONSHIP ENDED ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO. Though on the flip side, I am sure he still gets deals on Buffy seasons.

I am lame and addicted

2006-05-25T13:09:00.000-04:00

Your Pimp Name Is...

Pimptress Kisses

What's Your Pimp Name?

Kelly now you will know what to call me when we go to Hawaii

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Keilana Nani

What's your Hawaiian Name?

MUHAHAHAHAHA

You Are 46% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Like this is a suprise

Your Kissing Purity Score: 20% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

Oh I feel smart

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Okay it is embaressing how long it took me to complete this quiz

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE

You Should Weigh 136

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

If only it were true....

Secretary? Bank Teller??? Fuck me!

Your Career Type: Conventional

You are orderly and good at following a set plan.
Your talents lie in working with written records and numbers in a systematic, orderly way.

You would make an excellent:

Bank Teller - Bookkeeper - Court Clerk
Mail Carrier - Post Office Clerk - Secretary
Timekeeper - Title Examiner - Typist

The worst career options for your are artistic careers, like comedian or dancer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

It is like this website knows where I live

Your Linguistic Profile::

60% General American English

35% Yankee

0% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

One of my best movie matches is "Showgirls"?!?!?!

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

I apoliogize to the taxpayers...

The internet is always right...

2006-05-25T13:03:00.000-04:00

You Will Die at Age 64

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...
And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

I am now depressed.

Stupid online quizzes.

Okay, got to go take some more...

Two things

2006-05-24T16:16:00.000-04:00

First, Slate.com has a new series called Blogging the Bible. I am finding it interesting.

Second, Alaina arrived last night and she is here to stay. NEW ROOMIE (good I am sick of the old one who makes me stay up late assembling programs for her wedding AND eats sticks of butter).

Oh and coming soon, a little story I like to call "Marita's Bachelorette Party"!!!

And yes apparently I had three things.

Abby’s words of wisdom

2006-05-17T10:22:00.000-04:00

“I don’t really consider beer alcohol.”

Abby’s response to a story I have, which involves a massive hang-over and me swearing off drinking, then later that day have two beers.

Pink Taco is yummy

2006-05-16T11:14:00.000-04:00

haha and seriously....

The last eleven days

2006-05-15T14:22:00.000-04:00

I went to Arlington, VA and was fed lots of yummy food by Hannah and Tyson (including vegetarian pot pie- a first for me and as you might have guessed, I am a gal who has very few firsts remaining).
Evil, stupid, bitchy, ugly Jade is still in the running to becoming America's Next Top Model. WTF!!! She so better get kicked off first on Wednesday because Joanie and Danielle are so much prettier and nicer than her and they deserve to be in the top two. Not Jade- aka SPAWN OF SATAN.
I have gone out to dinner for the last four nights, to four restaurants I have never been to. Each was excellent. Thursday was Italian in the North End, a very little, cosy place called Carmen. The pasta was homemade and amazing. Friday night Marita and I went to Sephora (she needed wedding perfume) and decided to try Cottonwood, Southwestern food. One word- Margaritas. Saturday was Bob's Southern Bistro, in the South End. Again, food was amazing. They had a live band, who were fantastic. I really do live the life. Sunday- The Elephant Walk. I have been wanting to go to this restaurant since I moved to Boston and it didn't disappoint. I just love food so much. Now comes the best part- three of the four restaurants were paid for by my parents.
Which comes to my last bullet- Little Sister graduated college yesterday. Elizabeth now has a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Stage Management from Boston University. They grow up so fast.

And I am not going to feel bad that I only have 4 bullet points for 11 days (oh think of all that I haven't told you)

Advice from Abby

2006-05-04T11:17:00.000-04:00

"be good....ok. i know you won't be good, but be safe."

This is gross

2006-05-04T11:16:00.000-04:00

very gross

I hate the internet

2006-04-24T16:49:00.000-04:00

I hate the internet. I really hate the internet. Sometimes it allows me to find things that I don't want to see or know about. But at the same time can't stop myself from looking at. Stupid, stupid internet.

-End of post that made no sense, whose only point was to allow me to vent-

Duh!

2006-04-21T10:07:00.000-04:00

Now men have scientific reason to act dumb.

Sex cues ruin men's decisiveness

This article is from the BBC News. It reports on a study that proved men who were shown pictures of sexy woman or underwear performed worse on betting games then men who were shown pictures of fields or old people. Let me say it again-DUH!

But my favorite part is that they haven't been able to find any type of visual image that fucks up a woman's concentration. We rule.

Maybe we should start dressing really sexy for work, this way when we are in the boss's office and competing with the men in our office, our ideas will come off so much better since the men will be rendered dumb by our hotness. Unless your boss is also a man, then he too will make stupid decisions and probably go with the male co-workers idea. Hmmm, there is the flaw in that plan.

Voicemail from Kelly

2006-04-19T15:40:00.000-04:00

"Look at your calender. In exactly four months we are going to Hawaii!"

I KNOW AND I CAN'T WAIT

About boobs part 2

2006-04-19T15:36:00.000-04:00

A girl in a really cute suit with a very nice ass walks by.

Me: I wish I had a butt.

Tiffany: You have a front. It wouldn't be fair if you had both.

2006-04-18T16:16:00.000-04:00

Please see little sister's blog for the FUNNIEST STORY EVER.

I am not exaggerating, really I am not.

Why I could never defuse a bomb

2006-04-18T16:09:00.000-04:00

The other day at the gym, I was changing in the locker room and I had to go to the bathroom, like really really bad. I have this stupid thing about finishing what I am doing before taking care of a basic need. For example, at work I will be imputing data and in the middle of doing this I will need to pee, but I refuse to let myself go to the bathroom until I am done. There are just certain things I hate leaving halfway unfinished, even if only for a couple of minutes. This trait really makes no sense, especially since I can leave BIG projects halfway done for months. Case in point my scrapbook from Europe. I started it last summer and just finished it recently and the majority of the time it sat out in my living room. Anyway, the other day I rushed to get changed, threw everything in my locker and then tried to open my combination lock (something I have done numerous times) and I couldn't open it. In my complete rush to go to the bathroom, it took me 5 times to correctly put in the combination to open the lock. If that were a bomb, we would all be dead right now.

Things I have learned with weekend*

2006-04-17T14:25:00.000-04:00

*I still have the right to write in the present tense, since due to the wonderful fake holidays I get to celebrate as a employee of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts I am at home right now. Celebrating Patriot's Day.

1. I have lost my mojo. Last night, Liz and I went out to a bar to toast the fact that Jesus Christ has risen (Happy Christmas), and nothing, nada, zip. I was home by 12 fucking 30. It is official, I have lost my mother-fucking-god-dammed mojo. I am never going to get laid again. But I am fine with that. Really I am. Bring on the cats.

2. I am infected with a virus. So yeah, apparently you need virus protection on your computer, who knew? Elizabeth spent many Easter hours yesterday, trying to fix my virus-ridden computer. She got it mostly patched up (though I still can't change the background of my desktop, stupid computer). She also spent the same amount of time mocking me for not having virus protection and for my stategy to deal with the virus, the night before when I first realized I had a virus (okay so Liz doesn't get mad, it was really like 6 virus' or something...it appears my computer is also a dirty slut). Anyway, Saturday when I started getting all these warnings. I just unplugged my computer from the internet and turned it off. I was comfortable to leave it in this state permanently. I see nothing wrong with dealing with life this way.

So here is my new and improved computer with virus protection:
Don't worry, Liz downloaded real virus protection also. She is a good sister.

About boobs

2006-04-14T19:19:00.000-04:00

"I have a shelf, she has a display case."

Quote by a co-worker at lunch. The "she" refers to me.

Single & Bitter

2006-04-12T09:58:00.000-04:00

Last week I realized I was on the verge of becoming "Single & Bitter."

A couple of weeks ago, I was in Maine visiting Jen. We went out to Big Daddies, a NASCAR-themed bar. Oh YEAH, gotta love Maine. There I briefly spoke with a guy; he had bought me a beer and we talked for maybe 15 minutes. After that Jen and I decided to leave the bar. As I was saying good-bye to the guy he asked for my number.

The next day he called. I ignored the call and had no intention calling him back. I felt vaguely bad about not calling him back since I know how it can suck calling somebody and never hearing back. I really know how that can suck. A couple days later it occurred to me why I didn't want to call him back. It wasn't because of anything that happened, we had an okay conversation at that bar and he seemed nice enough. It was because for him to call me meant that there had to be something wrong with him. Um, that cannot be a healthy way to think.

So I called him back. We had another okay conversation. I didn't feel sparks. And no definite plans were made (he does live in Maine after all). But by calling was my fight not to become "single and bitter." There may be some wrong with him, but the fact that he called me isn't it.

Why I love Brad

2006-04-05T11:27:00.000-04:00

My roommate's finance, Brad, moved in with us the other day. He will be living here until their wedding in June. So I thought a post about why I love Brad is in order, so when I start to bitch about all the baseball I will be forced to watch, it won't seem so mean.

Why I love Brad

1. He bought me a doughnut

2. He bought us a new showerhead. A showerhead you can detach from the wall and hold in your hand. And this one has really good water pressure.

I love Brad.

almost 5 o'clock

2006-03-30T16:52:00.000-05:00

Why write about how you are feeling when somebody does it and does it better.

"I’m sad and I want someone to buy me flowers and pet my hair."

Right now I am tired and stressed and tired. I also don't really want to think about why I couldn't fall asleep until 4 am last night. Or why I just teared up as I wrote that sentence (pull it together Sarah, you still have 5 minutes left at work and a T ride home).

I don't need flowers I just need a hug. And I can't even arrange that.

yawn, head nod, eyes closing...

2006-03-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

So apparently my new thing is not sleeping. Why would I want to sleep, when I can stay wide awake until 4 am. It's not like I have to get up at 7 (ish) to go to work.

WAIT I DO HAVE TO GET UP AND GO TO WORK.

(My lack of sleep is rendering me unfunny…sorry, okay not that sorry, I am fucking out of my mind right now. You will be calmed to know I am only working on our payroll system…hahah I really hope I don't accidentally delete an employee or something).

I wrote the above earlier today. Since then I went out to lunch to celebrate my boss' birthday. At lunch there was wine. Oh yeah, the wine isn't helping the tiredness.

crossword

2006-03-27T15:32:00.000-05:00

I am not the best speller in the world, which can make doing crosswords somewhat difficult. Yesterday morning, I was working on a crossword with the aid of Marita confirming the spelling of some of my answers.

Me: How do you spell wiener?
Marita: Of all the words you don’t know how to spell…

2006-03-25T00:10:00.000-05:00

The first thing I did after I got my driver's license was to drive my sister and myself to the mall. My goal, to buy a wallet. Finally I had something worthy to put in a wallet- MY DRIVER'S LICENSE. So like all good 16 year olds, I went to Claire's and bought myself a $10 wallet. Now fast forward 7 and half years. Until two weeks ago I still had that wallet. And I still used it everyday. My Boss called it an embarrassment whenever I pulled it out to pay. The roommate would start picking at it any time she saw it. I took mocking from everyone and my only recourse was its sentimental value. Nobody was really buying that story. Now, I have looked for new a wallet. I am not blind I knew mine wasn’t in the best shape. But I am not the biggest fan of change. In this wallet everything had a place, a home if you will.

That was until two weeks ago. I was in Pennsylvania for the weekend and the idea to buy a new wallet wouldn’t let go. So I took my best buddy Alaina, for both emotional support and somebody to actually make me do it, and ventured into the mall. We looked around at in a department store, and I wasn’t seeing anything I liked, despite Alaina’s best efforts. Until I found this:

I have to admit, I liked it. It matches a purse I have and it is big enough to fit all the crap I carry, but not too big. But I was unsure. This is where Alaina really had to step in. She forced me to admit I liked it and then to buy it. We left the store and I refused to remove the tags until I made sure everything fit. So we sat outside the department store, right next to the really lame rock fountain thing that suburban malls seem to love, and I emptied my old wallet and started filling the new one. With only a couple of complaints and with Alaina holding my old wallet hostage, I filled the new one and it worked.

Now during the great changeover of 2006, Marita called. I knew she would be ridiculously happy at this turn of events. So I told her I actually bought a new wallet and that Alaina was going to throw my old one away, so I couldn’t go back to it. Her response, “Burn it.”

Goodbye wallet you served me well.

Do you like to waste time?

2006-03-22T16:08:00.000-05:00

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

Perhaps we should all pray for ridges

2006-03-22T11:28:00.000-05:00

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20060320/beetles_ani.html

(Thanks Abby)

and yes, we were sober

2006-03-21T10:01:00.000-05:00

I went to visit Miss Caitlin in the DC Metro area this weekend. She was sick, so we were not as wild as we can sometimes get. But that did leave the door open to end A LOT of stories with "and yes we were sober."

Caitlin just bought herself a camera phone. On a recent business trip to Atlanta, Caitlin went to an aquarium and took a picture of a really big fish with her phone. Being amused by this large fish, she texted the picture to, um... guy she has complicated relationship with. Upon receiving the picture this guy responded that he didn't realize Caitlin could text pictures and now that he knew he requested dirty pictures from said phone. So Caitlin, being the dirty slut she is, went back to her hotel room, tried…and failed. According to her, taking a sexy picture of the big V with a camera phone is really difficult and not flattering. So she ends up not sending him anything.

Caitlin is telling this story to Hannah and I, while we are just chilling at her place Friday afternoon. For normal people this is where the story would stop. But I am not normal. I feel the need to argue with Caitlin. It can't be that hard to take a sexy and alluring picture with a camera phone. Caitlin, also not being normal, responds by daring me to try. So I immediatly grab her phone and start whipping off my pants. Not only in front of my friends but also in front of a very large window that faces many apartments . Caitlin jumps up to close the shade, while I bare all and take a picture. And I end up taking a picture of mostly my shirt and a little bit of belly. Completing missing my pride and joy. Caitlin thinks she has proved her point. So I go in for a second try. I go to the bathroom, stand in front of the mirror and take the picture. This time I managed to actually get the money shot. But Caitlin was right, not flattering at all.

And yes, I was sober.

Pet Peeve of the Day

2006-03-09T11:19:00.000-05:00

When I am sitting in my cubicle blowing my nose and you want to come over and speak with me- WAIT A DAMM MINUTE. I am blowing my nose! And after one blows their nose they like to make sure there are no exposed boogies. So when you come over when I am in the process of blowing or in the process of cleaning up, I am not going to listen to what you are saying anyway. I am too concerned with the possibility of a snotty nose to focus on what you are saying.

All I ask is, please, if you hear me blowing my nose (even if you just realize it, right as you approach my cube), give me a second to wipe my boogers and do a quick check to make sure nothing is exposed.

Thank you.

My Disney Vacation

2006-03-07T14:56:00.000-05:00

Disney was AWESOME (yes capital letter awesome). Let me tell you the best parts, on Saturday I wore Capri pants and a tank top. On Sunday, I wore a skirt (WITHOUT HAVING TO WEAR TIGHTS), and on Monday I wore jeans, but I guess that isn't super exciting, but on all of the days I WORE FLIP FLOPS (and not in the stupid college freshman, I can wear flip flops during a snow storm while I walk 15 minutes to a restaurant type of way). I love flip flops. I could write an entire post about my love flip flops.
A. You don't have to find clean socks that match your outfit, when you wear flip flops. You can just put them on and GO.
B. Well I don't actually have a B. So I guess I couldn't write a whole post. It apparently is a love that goes better left unexplained, like my love of

Back to the main point. The weather in Florida was great, in the 70's most days. Just what this Boston girl needed.

Abby and The Doog were my vacation buddies and the three of us behaved very well. The Doog was there for a week-long conference, so Abby and I crashed with him and played all day while he had to sit in class- haha. First we went to MGM and rode the Tower of Terror (twice-oh yeah!). We actually went to all of the parks. I would have to say Animal Kingdom is my least favorite, but that might simply be because I went there on only three hours of sleep (oh I am a trooper). And I did get to see a hippo. And ride the new Everest ride. And eat a pretzel, oh wait I ate a GIGANTIC pretzel everyday I was in Disney. That whole diet thing didn't really exist at the happiest celebration on earth (Like most of my vacations or weekends a lot of drinking and eating took place, I am afraid to weigh myself).

At Pleasure Island (this post isn't going to have smooth transitions between paragraphs) we got to see a FIGHT. With blood. Let me delve into further detail. The Doog, Abby and I were dancing at this really lame 80's club. Well, all the clubs were really lame, but that made it more fun somehow. Like I danced the way I like, aka like a total spaz. But it was okay, nobody there was cool. Back to the fight- so Abby and I are dancing facing The Doog and suddenly he pulls us towards him. That is when the fight came crashing onto the dance floor with blood flying everywhere. I got blood on my pants. But don't worry, Abby, the good lab tech, poured beer on them to sterilize (so now the only pair of jeans I brought smelled like beer and had a blood stain). But it is all good- HAPPIEST CELEBRATION ON EARTH. The fight involved three guys, one of the ground while the other two were kicking him. It took the Disney Security force FOREVER to break it up. Then it took them even longer to clean it up. First they roped off the area, then they just stood around for awhile- POSING FOR PICTURES. Yes, I saw a security guy pose with two girls, in front of the scene of the crime. Disney Rocks! I cannot imagine two Boston PD's posing with people while they are securing an area or whatever they do.

Okay, this is getting long and I am getting sick of typing. So that is all you get for now. Lets call it part one. Though I won't promise a follow up part two. Oh and if you want to see pictures visit flickr.

Deleted

2006-03-06T09:25:00.000-05:00

The previous post has been deleted on account of the fact that I sobered up and realized it was a very embarrassing post.

Note to self, don't blog drunk.

Status

2006-02-24T14:59:00.000-05:00

I am currently away from this blog. I will return to this blog on February 28th. If you need immediate blog assistance, you can bite me because I will be in the happiest place on earth.

Good-bye Boston.

Hello Orlando!

do you see the connection?

2006-02-22T17:38:00.000-05:00

After work on Friday, I went out for a few drinks with a co-worker. And by few drinks- I mean I got pretty darn toasted. Anyway, I stumbled home around 7ish, to a not so amused roommate. Her and I had plans to meet one of her friends from out of town for drinks later that night. As Marita (which is the name of my roommate, for those who don’t know or can’t follow a narrative) knows me pretty well at this point, she was convinced I was done for the night. To persuade her otherwise, and to make myself look not so much like a lush, I explained to her that I was so drunk because all I had eaten so far was oatmeal and soup (side note: dieting and drinking-don’t work so well together). So with a sigh, she offered to make me some cheesy English muffins and get me a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups* (which is actually pretty sweet if you think about it. I get rewarded for drinking by having food prepared for me. Huh, which also happened on Monday when I was so hung-over I spent entire Day of Presidents not moving on the couch. Marita made me pancakes for breakfast and a quiche for lunch. Though that may have more to do with my bad boy luck or BBL as I just decided I like to call it, than the fact if was hung-over. This aside is getting long- sorry). Back to Friday, after I ate, I sat at the kitchen table starting to nod off. Marita yelled at me that I couldn’t go to sleep cause we were going out later. I told her I wouldn’t pass out. Yeah, so next thing I know I climb into bed and fall asleep. FOR ONLY TWO HOURS, then I was awoken by my phone and BAM I was ready to continue my night. Apparently I am a frat boy.

Saturday morning, Marita and I were watching Lingo on GAME SHOW NETWORK (the point of Lingo is to guess 5 letter words, the contestants are given the first letter and if they guess any other correct letters those are highlighted and they get 5 chances to guess the word). Naturally the best part of watching game shows is playing along. Well, Marita was playing along; I was just shouting words, most more than five letters. Anyway, during one round a team gets a word that starts with “L.” It took them all five guesses to finally get the word. Marita and I didn’t guess the correct word at all, so when the team finally guessed correctly, I turned to Marita and said, “Man, they did good, I don’t even know what that word means.”

Marita looks at me with a mixture of amusement and fear- “LIMIT. The word is LIMIT.” My only defense was that is NOT how I pronounced it in my head.

This can’t be good.

*A spoonful of sugar under the tongue totally cures hiccups.

My daily routine, part 1

2006-02-17T15:09:00.000-05:00

As anybody who works in front of a computer, all day long, knows, no matter how busy you are at work, there is still plenty of time to surf the ole’ Internet.

So welcome to my Internet. The places I visit almost daily.

Bow down to my superior intellect-
a.k.a. I like to pretend I am smart because I read articles on these sites:
www.nytimes.com

www.washingtonpost.com

www.slate.com

www.salon.com

I am addicted to advice columns
www.dearabby.com (don’t judge me)

"Ask Amy" is an advice column that runs in the Washington Post.

http://ask.yahoo.com Not really an advice column, but you get to learn all sorts of random facts. (Have I mentioned that I am a dork?)

Also Slate (see above) has an advice column every Thursday, “Dear Prudence”

Good Old Fashioned Blogs
www.dooce.com

http://thisfish.ivillage.com I just discovered this one, after reading the author's mission statement, I was hooked.

www.amalah.com

www.laidoffdad.typepad.com

www.annadilemna.typepad.com

Symptoms of my Celibacy
www.cuteoverload.com

www.stuffonmycat.com

For lack of a better title: FOOD
www.elise.com/recipes I love the pictures of her food. They are gorgeous. I want to be able to take pictures of food like she can.

www.foodnetwork.com This website kind of sucks, but if you want food ideas, this is a Mecca of recipes.

I am still looking for a good vegetarian website. For those who don’t know, Sarah eats no meat. I have found some vegetarian blogs/websites, but most of them cater towards vegans who tend to be all crunchy/earthy/meat is murder types, whom I tend to find annoying. (by the by, my Mother would die laughing if she were to read my last sentence, since for years- when I first became a vegetarian- and may I add I was a teenager, so I was already annoying- I was the pain in the ass/”how can you eat that”-type of vegetarian). So basically here is my plea, if you know any good vegetarian sites, share the love.

www.nutritiondata.com Best site I have found that tells you the amount of calories in all type of food. (by the way, I have lost 12 pounds since this post, like how I just slipped that in?)

HAHAHAHA
www.zug.com (Must check out The Credit Card prank- simply brilliant)

Boston.com's wedding borad Only funny to read HOW PSYCHO people can get about weddings, make sure to check out the “Wedding Etiquette” section.

Okay this entry might have to be a part 1, since I am getting sick of looking through all the bookmarks I have saved (yea on my work computer, I am such a good employee).

Post Script: I have to admit, I didn’t just do this to inform all of you out there of some good sites, mostly I did it because I SIT IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER FOR 7.5 HOURS A DAY AND DEAR LORD I NEED NEW MATERIAL. So be nice, what sites are your favs?

Creativity

2006-02-12T18:05:00.000-05:00

I wish I was creative. What makes this desire even worse, is that I border on creativity. Meaning when I endeavor creative tasks, they turn out super cute...if I were a 5 year old. Case in point, the cake I made for my roommate last weekend.

How adorable would it be if your little 5 year old niece made you this for Valentine's Day. Pretty darn cute. Now imagine your 24 year old roommate made it for you. Not quite as cute, slash potentially creepy.

But don't you worry, my roommate loved it.

I want a cat

2006-02-10T19:40:00.000-05:00

I have discovered the reason for my sudden overwhelming desire to own a cat.

My ex sent me this in an email today. I always felt the problem was he did not understand me. Apparently he does. Upon getting this email I forwarded it to my anonymous co-worker Tiffany. She responded that I suffer from 1,3 & 6 hands down.

p.s. Hi Chris!

Oh analogies

2006-02-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday I was suffering from a slight case of cabin fever, or apartment fever, whatever. So I turned to cooking to keep myself occupied, after making tofu fajitas, chili, and lemon sorbet I was still all hyped up. So I decided to make some cake for my roommate (she really likes cake, well actually she really likes frosting but cake is frosting’s vehicle), who was trying very hard to ignore me and order her wedding invitations (which I still don’t know why she needed to spend all that money, I designed a really kick ass one using CLIP ART, how can you get better than clip art).

Anyway, and more to the point of my story, along with the cake I made some frosting (see previous paragraph). After I was done frosting her piece, I went to pour the remaining frosting (it was kind of liquid-y) into a squeeze bottle that had a very small opening. My roommate watched on as I prepared to pour the frosting from a large bowl into a small bottle, knowing fully well, that this was not going to end without a mess (a sticky mess, at that). I must admit, before I started pouring I even knew this was a bad idea, I knew it would spill. Hell, I even knew that my roommate knew I knew it was going to spill. Did any of this stop me? HELL NO.

So as I started pouring, I admitted out loud: “I know this is a bad idea, but I am going to continue. Much like how I treat my personal life.”

As I started to pour the frosting, it was all getting into the container. This early success encouraged me to continue. Though in the end, both my roommate and I were right, I spilled the frosting all over the counter and made a mess. And as my roommate said, “that too is just like your personal life.”

I love my friends

2006-02-07T13:06:00.000-05:00

My anonymous co-worker Tiffany, who had previously provided me with this chuckle, reminded me yesterday of another gem. In November she turned 25. She was lamenting this birthday for a number of reasons, one of them being:

“25 is halfway to 30.”

Oh, I have my very own Jessica Simpson.

Sarah's Life O' Meter

2006-01-30T22:34:00.000-05:00

Taking the pulse of Sarah's life (yes I like to refer to myself in the third person and yes I know that isn't good)

Sarah's Life O' Meter goes from 1 to 10. Here is what the scale means:

1- Being forced to watch nothing but Everybody Loves Ray for the rest of my life.

5- I am a state worker and nothing is wrong but nothing is right, a.k.a. most days.

10- Brad Pitt and I are getting married and he thinks I am the hottest woman he has ever been with. And occasionally he invites Angelina Jolie to bed with us but only in the "it would all be about me" type of threesome.

Today I totally related to a TWO Kelly Clarkson songs: "Walk Away" and "Addicated" (do you put quotes around song titles..Marita?). And I enjoy her Breakaway CD, she has a good voice and I like her songs. They are good songs. But today I GOT THEM. AND SHE IS AN AMERICAN IDOL, SHE SHOULD NOT SPEAK TO ME. Yes caps were necessary there.

I think that puts today at a 3.

big ass bottle of champagne

2006-01-30T20:21:00.000-05:00

big ass bottle of champagne
Originally uploaded by Sarah MU.

New Year's pics are HERE

Rant: I hate my room!!!

2006-01-29T19:54:00.000-05:00

Hi my name is Sarah and I have the smallest room in the WORLD. And no I am not prone to exaggeration. Now there are many things about my apartment that I like, well namely the fact that I have a good roommate (even if she does correct my grammar and spelling…the bitch). But the number one fact about my apartment that makes me want to move is the fact that I have a room the size of a closet. How small is my room you ask, in the name of blogging I shall measure it for you. I live in a 141 in by 87 in room.
That is a little more than 12 feet by a little less than 7 feet

Oh my god I live in a cell.

If I understood how to measure square feet, I would give you that measurement, but I don’t really know what a square foot is. Anyway, worse yet-I have about 5 by 5 feet of space that is not taken up by furniture. That is not even enough space for me to lie on my floor. I can’t have sleepovers in my room (well…not that kind anyway).

Jailed criminals have more space than I do. *

Are you waiting for the kicker, you know there must be a kicker…I pay $650 for this

Coming Soon-
Rant part 2: Closet space

*This is not a fact, just a hunch.

May I recommend

2006-01-24T09:27:00.000-05:00

This weekend my roommate and I watched It Happened One Night. For those who don't know, my roommate and I are going through the American Film Institute's 100 Greatest Movies list. This started after many long trips the the video store (hah video store- how quaint) in which we would basically just stand around with no direction, saying:

"How about this?
"Already seen it."
"This?"
"Eh..."
And so on...

So we decided to hit the classics. And thus watching the AFI list began. We started a little over a year ago and so far have watched about half. But with renewed determination, since the roommie is getting married in June and leaving my life forever, we have a new commitment to finishing this list. There has been its drawbacks (having to sit through eighty-thousand hours of Lawrence of Arabia), but mostly we have seen some great movies, that I don't know if I would have ordinarily have seen. Like, It Happened One Night, to get back to the original purpose of this post. As the Netflix sleeve described it, this is one ZANY movie. It is the story of a fallen newspaper man (Clark Gable) helping a runaway heiress, (Claudette Colbert) get to her husband, whom she married behind her father's back without his permission. And frankly Gable does give a damm.

So if you are looking for the original road trip, falling in love with your opposite movie, you should check this out.

Question

2006-01-19T10:55:00.000-05:00

Why do tea bags have 'sayings' on them? Do tea drinkers need these words of wisdom more than say coffee drinkers?

I am currently drinking some green tea. On the package I have learned that:

"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."
-Tennyson

And on the paper thing attached to the actual tea bag:

"All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand."
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Now I like sayings, and both of these are nice thoughts. But what makes tea, a thinker's drink?

This still makes me giggle

2006-01-18T15:04:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, my co-worker Tiffay, who wishes to remain anonymous, was discussing with me her plan to buy a digital camera.

After discussing the pros and cons for few moments, she asks, and mind you she is being completely serious, "there is one thing I don't understand, where does the film go?"

Origin of The Doog

2006-01-14T13:07:00.000-05:00

The Doog was born last June, while I was vacationing in Europe with Jack and Abby. As we were checking into our hotel in Brussels, the front desk guy, who never stopped his phone conversation the entire time we checked in, held up a piece of paper that said- Dog called. All three of us just looked at the paper for a few moments, Dog called??? What the hell? Finally, it dawned on Abby that Doug* had called. Abby had been a very bad girl and hadn’t called poor Doug once. Naturally, since how could one pass up this comedy gold, we started referring to Doug as Dog. Then somehow, probably heavily influenced by Belgium beer, we started pronouncing Dog, in what I am sure we thought was a dead-on impression of some type of foreign accent, as The Doog (think long O sound…hehe long O)

But that is not the end of the Doog, oh no. Again probably heavily influenced by beer, we decided that The Doog was the PERFECT curse word. It works in all sentences. Like “What The Doog!” or “What the Doog am I doing” (this is a popular one among my friends).

And that is how Doog came to be.

*Abby’s sorta, kinda whatever.

WARNING This post contains the word tampon

2006-01-13T12:59:00.000-05:00

I HATE when I am at work and I walk all the way to the bathroom to then discover, once I am finished peeing, that I need to change my tampon. Because, I then to walk all the way back to my desk, get a tampon, then walk all the way back to the bathroom to change it. I know this might not seem like a big deal, and that I am just being lazy. But that is not the reason this drives me nuts. First, after I originally go to the bathroom I always debate whether or not I should wash my hands. Since once I go back and put the tampon in I will just have to wash them again and in the winter all this hand washing makes them sooo dry. Second, inevitably I always end up passing a co-worker so they totally see me walk to the bathroom, come back, and go out again.

Alcoholoscopes

2006-01-13T11:23:00.000-05:00

Tiffany sent me a forward about each Zodiacs drinking style. Here is mine, and I must admit it is quite accurate, especially the last sentence:

SAGITTARIUS
Drinking style

In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

How can I say no!?!?

2006-01-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

I received this email from Abby’s boyfriend* trying to convince me to go to Florida with them for my winter vacation.

From The Doog:
I am going on training from february 24th to march 3rd. abby thinks i should convince you to go. so here are the reasons you should go to disney instead of mexico, caribbean, and wherever:

the room will be free because my company will pay for it
there will be two queen size beds (even though we'll probably pushthem together :P)
free internet access the entire time
uh, duh, we'll be in disney!
epcot is right across the lake
disney boardwalk is walking distance from the hotel
the hotel is walking distance from a lot of good bars
actually, just visit the website... www.swandolphin.com

reasons to hang out with me:

well, let's get the obvious one out of the way... i'm fun to hang out with!!!!
because i always fall for the boob pickup line**
i like to get really drunk too!
because if you don't pick up a boy, you'll still have me to come back to the room with, and abby said it's okay :P
i have a six pack
i have a hot ass (per abby)
i'm an awesome wingman, but you don't need help there
i let you fondle me
you let me fondle you
i let you fondle abby
and too many more to list!!!!

*Boyfriend is used here in the loosest terms possible.

**The boob pick-up line is the best pick-up line ever. All you have to do is go up to a hot guy and bet him that his hand is too small to fit around your entire boob. There is only one way for him to prove you wrong. And guys are stupidly competitive, they fall for the 'bet' part everytime. OH YEAH!

Read This

2006-01-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

Who wants to read a funny article? Come on I know you do. Don’t be scared now.

Weighty Matters*

*This article is on Salon.com so you might have to obtain a site pass to read it. All you have to do to obtain a site pass is watch a short ad.

Oh family

2006-01-11T16:37:00.000-05:00

My sister and my cousin Hope are graduating college on the same day; one’s graduation is in Boston and the other in Virginia. So the big question over Christmas was whose graduation my paternal grandmother would attend. And by big question, I really mean, “question with a very obvious answer”; immediately both my sister and I knew it was a given that our grandmother would attend Hope’s graduation. My sister and I have come to realize, we are at the bottom of the cousin totem pole. Over the years, there have been forgotten birthdays, smaller presents, etc. A recent example of this would be my past birthday, I saw the entire side of my fathers’ family 5 DAYS after my birthday (aka Christmas) and not a single person said a simple happy birthday. Though I suppose I can’t get that upset since my parent's also forgot my birthday (see how I am SO not letting that go). Anyway, my mom is in town and at dinner last night she mentioned to my sister that it had been decided, my grandmother was going to attend our cousin's graduation. My sister replied with a “no shock there” type of response. Mom, trying to dissuade my sister and I from feeling crushed by the weight of all of our cousins on top of us, explained that the decision had nothing to do with my sister or Hope, but more to do with how my Aunt Angela (Hope’s mother) versus how my father would react.

"Angela is needier than your father,” is how my mother put it.

Which got me to thinking, if my sister and I had children who were graduating on the same day, which hypothetical grandchild’s graduation would my parents attend? I mentioned this to my sister.

Her flat out reply was, “Based on neediness, they would attend your kids…well, only if they remembered.”

Bday pics

2006-01-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

Party party
Originally uploaded by Sarah Unsworth.

Have you found yourself thinking aloud to yourself, late at night: "I wonder what it looked like when Sarah went out with her friends for her birthday?"

Well wonder no more. The events of that night are now on flickr.

Enjoy.

Some people are very smart...

2006-01-08T17:40:00.000-05:00

Like whoever said: "Don't make someone your priority, while you are there option"

I don't know the author of this quote (neither did google, damm you google), but K shared it with me on the drive to Boston, during our discussion of boys and related problems. It is one of those thoughts that I just cannot get out of my head. Whoever said it knows there shit. Personally, I feel this quote hits that proverbial nail. Unfortunately just because I can recognize the problem, does't mean the solution is just around the corner, over the bend, or any other place cliches come from. I guess that isn't entirely true. The real problem is finding a solution that both the head and the heart can agree on. On some level, I know what is right. Hell, when it comes to my friends' lives I always know the right thing to do. But with my own, I do things that if I had to hear me bitch about, I would talk behind my back to all of my other friends about how stupid I am for putting up with the crap I put up with.

But in the end I guess we do what we do to learn. At least that is what I hope.

Plus sometimes the fuck-ups are the most fun ;)

Favorite movies of 2005

2006-01-05T13:53:00.000-05:00

So lately I have been reading a lot of critics "best of 2005" lists. Well dammit, I want to write one of my own. I think I can do a good job, I have seen lots of movies this year. Though many of the movies I saw were not technically released in 2005; so really, this list is going to made up of movies I liked, that I just happened to see in 2005. Which I feel totally justified doing since Stephen King did this in his column he writes for Entertainment Weekly, he listed his favorite books he read this year, even though some came out in previous years and ONE HASN'T EVEN BEEN PUBLISHED YET (I don't know why I just got all bitter about that, but I did. Don't worry though I am now over it)

Disclaimer: My memory sucks so this list will probably be comprised of movies that I really liked the I have seen over the past few months.

And here we go (in no particular order):

The Philadelphia Story (1940) This film is a totally hilarious romantic screwball comedy. I now understood what is so great about Katherine Hepburn.

Schindler's Lists (1993) Background, my roommate and I got drunk one weekday night and decided that we were going to call in sick the next day. This is the movie we watched that afternoon. So sad, so good, so not a movie to watch when you are screwing off from work.

Oh Sin City (2005), finally one that came out in 2005! I wanted to see this one because it looked cool and I wanted to see exactly how it was done. I didn't except to like it as much as I did. Everything was fantastic about it. In fact, I saw it in the theater twice (ooh wow).

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2001) DON'T JUDGE ME, wait until the end. A friend introduced me to this one and I loved it. This movie is based on a cartoon of the same name (well except for the "the movie" part). It is about a group of bounty hunters, aka "cowboys" chasing criminals across the solar system on their ship called the "Bebop" (see the title doesn't seem so stupid now). Obviously this is set in the future. Anyway, the movie deals with the crew of the Bebop trying to stop a terrorist, who wants to release a biological agent into the air, to kill everybody. And of course there is a huge conspiracy to be uncovered in order to stop the terrorist.

After my friend and I watched the movie, I made him put on the few episodes of the TV show that he had on DVD. Also very good. I have been wanting to add the rest of the series to my netflix list, but I have feared explaining why to my roommate/being mocked by my roommate. But since she reads my blog, I might as well add them now.

Wedding Crashers (2005) was wicked funny. I totally have a thing for Vince Vaughn (stupid Jennifer Aniston taking all the men I like).

Which reminds me: I really liked Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005). Though to be honest, I really like almost anything with my Brad.

Okay that is all I can come up with right now. See I told you my memory sucked. If I think of anymore y'all will be the first to know.

My non-New Year's Resolution

2006-01-03T12:35:00.000-05:00

So I am on a diet. I want to make this perfectly clear, THIS IS NOT A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION. I don’t believe in them. Why should there suddenly be a day to start over. Stupid New Years, I have decided that New Years is my least favorite holiday. It is even worse than Flag Day. And I don’t even know what Flag Day is.

Anyway, now is simply the most convenient time to start a diet. Over the past few months, my weight has been rising. I admit it; I packed on five pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. There will be no more weekend visits for some time, which I use as a total excuse to eat, drink, and sleep around, more than normal. After work activities will be less abundant, so more time I can go to the gym. I am pumped and ready (we will see how long this will last). And if I say so myself, so far I am doing great, hopefully day two will go as good as day one. Now who is ready to hear the crazy diet I have chosen…ready: Eat less, exercise more- 1500 calories a day, gym 3-4 times a week.

Wish me luck, or more importantly will-power.

I declare victory...

2006-01-02T11:14:00.000-05:00

...over my new computer.

Yes, you tried to foil me by not allowing me to connect to the internet. But I took your challenge and crushed it beneath my boot.

Well, flattened it a little bit. Okay, fine I admit I still can't figure out how to get my wireless card to work. But one victory at a time wins a war, or something like that.

Any suggestions would be helpful.

feeling the void

2005-12-28T11:50:00.000-05:00

Not that I want to be one of those girls who bitch about boys all the time, but I am one and I need to embrace that. Plus, if boys stopped being so fucking stupid all the time, we women would have to bitch less.

Anyway, the point to all this is: this total dick in K's life (quick background: keeps telling her that he wants to marry her but can't date her right now...this has been going on for almost 5 years) wrote her an email basically saying that she only dates other guys to fill a void in her life because she is lonely and he really is the only one for her, etc.

Now, this dick has the nasty habit of doing exactly this (popping into her life with declarations of love someday) whenever K meets a guy she likes and this has the nasty effect of putting a damper on her current relationship. But the best part of this email business is that the dick mistyped "filling the void" instead he typed "feeling the void"...Oh, K and I enjoyed this during our 6 hour car ride yesterday.

So now we have a new expression: FEELING THE VOID. And let me tell you, it is a good thing. Whenever you do something to make YOU happy, well that is feeling the void. You do something that is probably not the most appropriate...you guessed it, you are just feeling the void. Want to get drunk and kiss random guys at the bar- feeling the void.

So here is the plea: please all you ladies out there, fuck men, and feel the void. Hell, I am feeling generous (it must be all the feeling the void I am doing), you men out there can also feel the void. Enjoy yourself, don't wait for others, grab your void and feel it all night long.

this post needs no title

2005-12-25T10:28:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

A birthday observed

2005-12-24T11:28:00.000-05:00

Date: 12.23.05
Time: 9:00 p.m.
Place: Finnigan's Wake, Philadelphia

I arrived in Philadelphia and was immediately whisked away to start the night right. Which for me started with drinking 3 glasses of water.

Shall I back up? My day begin by arriving at work and the boss buying me a cup of coffee spiked with some "holiday cheer" (sidenote: is it bad that I brought the spiked coffee to a meeting?). Anyway after the meeting, went out to a long lunch that included some liquid libations. Sobered up around 5 p.m. and headed off to the airport to leave my Boston and head to the place of cows and Amish. Once I boarded the plane I became EXTREMELY THIRSTY. Stupid airlines with all their cutbacks and only giving me one small cup of soda.

Anyway, once I watered up, I was good to go. (oh Yuengling, how I missed you). I think my favorite part about going out for your birthday where once you finish a drink you just point to a friend then point to the empty bottle and immediately a new beer is placed in your hand. My whole life should be like that. I am very good at pointing.

Thanks K, Ms. Alaina, Abigail Williams, the Doog, Sister, and Dr. Jay for observing my birthday the way it was meant to be (with Sister throwing up then sleeping in the car while the rest of us continued to party).

Also, thank you random boys that continued to try to dance with me/feel me up even after I pointedly walked away from you and moved my circle of friends five feet away. A night of dancing just wouldn't be the same without you.

And any night wouldn't be the same without a quote of the night:
Me: hey I am an open book
Sister: that might be the problem

Just call me Molly

2005-12-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

"I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday."
-Molly Ringwald

I have been Sixteen Candled.

MY FAMILY DID NOT CALL ME ON MY BIRTHDAY.

they forgot...let the guilt begin.

Ideas from Ms. A

2005-12-21T10:45:00.000-05:00

I consulted with Ms. Alaina the other day regarding what to name this little endeavor. While I did not use any of her suggestions, they are worth sharing:

it's my motherfuckin' life, bitches!
smoking the pole with sarah m. unsworth
married men, form a line to the left
i may be tone deaf, but i play a mean skin flute

One score and four years ago, a little girl named Sarah was born

2005-12-20T10:32:00.000-05:00

Today is the day of my birth. Well if you want to get technical it is the anniversary of my birth. But if today were my actual birthday I would be a VERY advanced newborn, you know with all the typing and internet savvy.

Anyway, I thought my birthday would be an excellent day to start a blog. It somehow appeals to my bizarre way I like things. For example, it doesn't bother me to have my clothes ALL over my room, but if they are hanging up, they all need to be facing the same way. Or how ice cream tastes better when eaten with a plastic spoon. But I digress, in my head I couldn't start a blog on any old day. So at first, I was thinking January 1st, a clean start. But that felt unoriginal (I know having a blog, nowadays, so original...); so today is the day, the day when I started. A day of magic and wonder, really.

So...

Happy Birthday Me!
Happy Birthday Blog!